So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
