he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
