well you can't waste a boner
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
