I showed him my bush... on skype.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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