Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
