I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
whose ass print is on the piano?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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