they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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