playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
