He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
