i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
