I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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