I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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