I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
