I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
