capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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