using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
