I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
