I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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