Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.