I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.