I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i think im in europe. pls send help
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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