You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks