Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts