To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.