Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
