He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize