then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
