Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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