I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
