She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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