My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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