i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
