So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
