Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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