I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
