i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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