I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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