Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
