I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
not ubering you a puppy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
