i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
