All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
