What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
