Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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