i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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