the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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