Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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