oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
