I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
