mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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