It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's like a pop up book from hell.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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