He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
