Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
