you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
