It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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