don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
