I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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