oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
