For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She made me pour olive oil on her.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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