when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
