you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
