Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
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found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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