I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
