stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He passed out mid-signature
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
