so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
