I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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