i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
