its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
