Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
