do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
