If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
