just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry about my life...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize