god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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