i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
