How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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